


On the Way to a Smile

by VaultBot



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Family Issues, Family Reunions, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nakamaship, Out of Character, POV Vinsmoke Sanji, Sanji Is Not A Vinsmoke, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Siblings, Vinsmoke Sanji-centric, Whole Cake Island Arc Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaultBot/pseuds/VaultBot
Summary: How Sanji's perception of his sister and even himself has changed over the course of his travels. Nakamaship. Siblingship.
Relationships: Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates & Vinsmoke Sanji, Vinsmoke Reiju & Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 1
Kudos: 103





	On the Way to a Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Took the title from FF7, it just fit too well :D
> 
> Not completely satisfied with how it turned out, but I hope you enjoy!

Sanji knew that his past would catch up to him one day.

From his entire time on the Baratie, he tried to forget his history with Germa. The abuse he suffered at his brothers’ hands. The robotic way they attacked him everyday, flinging the same slurs at him over and over again, almost as if they were trying to fix a problem. Himself. His father labelling him as a failed experiment: a worthless, useless piece of trash that didn’t live up to the super soldiers he created. The black mark on his perfect record. And above all… the cold, piercing laughter of his sister every time she watched him suffer alone.

Sanji never understood his older sister, in hindsight. She was a snake, she was two-faced, and she pretended to care about him in private while mocking him in public. An enigma that his younger self couldn’t solve. It was almost like she enjoyed getting his hopes up by helping him to bandage his wounds only to crush them.

Reiju tried to rationalize it. It must’ve been going against her conscience, or what little she had. At the time, he was just confused, wondering why the only person who even gave him the slightest time of day could flip a switch so easily. Somehow, he deluded himself into thinking that she was on his side. Now, all he felt was contempt for her.

It hurt him far more than anything his brothers or father ever did or said to him.

It was impossible to forget even as he escaped, of course. Germa had broken his mind, but not his will. He still had a purpose, even if it was someone else’s dream. His mother wanted him to find the All Blue as her last wish. Zeff too, really. And that was fine with him - because it was enough for him to keep pressing on. And he got better at hiding it over the years. So much so that none of the people around him ever suspected a thing.

Sanji wasn’t perfect. It seeped through the cracks occasionally. Zeff had to have known something was up when the former pirate caught himself panicking in front of a mirror, thinking that one of his hair strands had turned black. It was his greatest nightmare, the thought that his genetic modifications were just lying dormant and he still could become Stealth Black. The thought of his father having thrown him away for nothing, leaving him to suffer alone for years had terrified him. More so when he realized that he would become like… _them._ Unempathetic super soldiers with not a single shred of humanity within them. Zeff never pressed further, bless the shitty old geezer’s heart.

Luffy was the only one who knew about his past with Zeff on that cursed rock; the only one who knew why the cook refused to let others starve. The rubber boy probably forgot though - his captain could barely remember some people’s names, let alone history. He was a genius at fighting, but hopeless at anything that used more than a couple of brain cells. A true savant. Sanji wouldn’t have it any other way.

But lately, he’d been slipping up more often. Just a couple of days ago, he accidentally revealed to Nami and Usopp that he wasn’t from the East Blue - he was from the North Blue instead. He had to change the subject quickly, but he recognized the look of confusion on their faces. A curiosity that he wasn’t prepared to satiate. The one meal he wouldn’t be able to cook for them.

And right now was another one of those moments.

**_What would you know, about the feelings of a child who grew up being insulted and laughed at by every stranger, just because he happened to share the same blood as that idiot!?_ **

Sanji had been sitting away from the crew, who were listening to Montblanc Cricket. Right now, he couldn’t help but feel detached, both physically and mentally as he opted to take a long drag from his cigarette at a small table.

That statement hit way too close to home, for him. The humiliation that a botched experiment like him could ever be related to the rest of his family. The loneliness. The laughter he heard. He could still hear it. It was like he was a kid again, listening to his siblings mock him. The pain in his heart, the betrayal he first felt from that…

Sanji absentmindedly stirred the tea in his mug, trying to forget about his woes. It would only be a little bit longer. He could get through this. Just tune out the noise.

His gloomy expression was noticed, though. Zoro questioned why the cook looked so glum at that moment. Normally, he’d be off trying to look cool, and trying to impress the women of the crew, or something. Or getting on his nerves, through the dumb contests they always had with each other. Now though? Zoro was about to make a joke when he noticed the blond sitting away from them, before he noticed his expression. He looked pitiful. Like something had shriveled up and died within him. Almost like he was remembering something unpleasant…

Well, the cook had strange moments like these occasionally. Zoro worried a little when this happened, not that he’d admit it out loud to him.

Whatever. The blond cook would probably go back to being the stupid _ero-cook_ that the crew knew and tolerated. The cook was strong, even Zoro had to begrudgingly admit that. If the cook needed help with something, he was sure he’d ask for it. He wasn’t a complete dumb-ass, even if he sure acted like one a lot. And if not… well, he was sure that everyone would force him to cough it up. Even Zoro himself. Besides, it was too much of a pain in the ass to go ask him what was wrong in front of all these people, anyways. He didn’t want the crew thinking he suddenly _cared_ about the cook…

* * *

“Fine! If you don’t like my decision, just _leave-”_

Sanji instantly drove a kick into his captain after that. He didn’t even realize that he nearly sent Luffy flying into Nami, nearly breaking his creed as the rubber boy crashed into the table. Zoro had one of his hands on the handle of one of his swords, eyes narrowed but not moving. Sanji didn’t realize it anyway since he was seething with anger, completely out of order from that comment towards their sniper.

“IDIOT! Luffy, what the hell are you _thinking_ , saying that!?”

He originally stood by quietly. Sanji knew that the Going Merry had been Usopp’s treasure, his pride and joy. Obviously he was going to be unreasonable when the rest of the crew tried to replace their sniper’s beloved ship. Sanji even agreed with Luffy and was silently taking his side until that comment. The Merry had a good run, but it couldn't go on any longer. But this wasn’t something he had the right to have any input on though, especially since this talk was supposed to be something between their captain and Usopp.

But Usopp had always reminded of Sanji of his younger self. When he used to be weaker, helpless to do anything. It was why he went out of his way to help him so much, after all. Getting his goggles back from Bon Clay. Protecting him from Enel. Clowning Usopp’s cowardice along with the crew was funny at first, but the blond began to realize just how insecure Usopp was of himself, of his own shortcomings as a crew member.

And now? Usopp failed to protect the money they needed for Merry’s repairs. This was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Maybe he was the only one on board who realized that Usopp wasn’t just being unreasonable about the Merry because of his personal attachment to it - he was projecting his own fears that Luffy would one day leave him too, if he wasn’t useful enough to stay on board.

Sounded familiar. He and Usopp had the most in common on the ship, funnily enough. Maybe… him kicking Luffy was a result of his own insecurities. Of how terrified he was that Luffy would leave him too, just like how he wanted to replace the ship, if the trauma from his past ever came to a tipping point and actively endangered the crew.

Well there was that… and the fact that Luffy’s tone sounded eerily like his own father, all those years ago when he told him to piss off, not ever wanting to see his failure of a son again. When he threw Sanji away, just like Luffy had implied to Usopp.

But it wasn’t enough. He left, and it didn’t seem like their sniper was going to return anytime soon. Just another _failed_ attempt.

The next sequence of events flashed by like a blur. Soon enough, Sanji found himself kicking a wolf-man in Enies Lobby, saving Uso- erm, _Sogeking_ yet again.

**_Everyone has things they can and can’t do! I’ll do what you can’t do, and you do what I can’t do!_ **

Sanji was shouting at him, trying to inspire a hope, a spark, anything to light a fire under their sniper’s ass to make him believe in himself and use that extraordinary aim of his to save Robin. Strange. Sanji didn’t know how he came up with that on the spot. His own experiences perhaps, with Nami taking over the fight with Kalifa earlier. Wishful thinking, more like. No one could help him carry his own burdens from his family - that was one road he’d have to walk alone.

It was enough, though. _Sogeking_ seemed to have gotten an idea, eyes practically lighting up from behind his goggles as he fled the area.

Sanji was surprised with himself as he fought Jyabura, to be honest. If he told this to his younger self all those years ago, that one day he would be the one protecting and fighting on behalf of other people, he knew his eight year old self would probably never believe it. Yet here he was, locked in a martial arts battle, Rokushiki vs Black Leg style. Sanji won of course. It wasn’t an option, to lose. He’d never let his nakama get hurt in a fight - not under his watch. It was the one thing he could do, other than cook.

Shortly after, the Straw Hats had escaped through the skin of their teeth from Enies Lobby, and again from Water 7. This time, with three members and a shiny new ship from their excursion. They got Usopp back after the sniper apologized for his own selfish actions, with Luffy tearfully reuniting with his best friend. They freed Robin, thank goodness, along with gaining a new member and shipwright, Franky. The mugger. He more than made up for it though - he played a pivotal role in saving Robin. All’s well that ends well.

The new ship that Franky built was nice - a locked fridge, finally. Luffy would have to go through plenty of security measures before he could get to the food inside. Now, he only really needed to check on the fridge a couple of times a night instead of periodically, since his captain couldn’t get his grubby, greedy, gluttonous, rubbery hands on all the food quickly.

Maybe this meant that he wouldn’t have anymore duels with Luffy at night, though. Which was unfortunate - it was the main way Sanji trained.

But as Sanji wound down the day by washing dishes alone in the kitchen, their sniper had walked in, looking a little sheepish.

Sanji wasn’t exactly surprised. A lot of people came to talk to him in the kitchen, even on the Merry. Luffy when he was bored. The Marimo… well, never mind. Nami, when she needed someone other than the idiots and Robin to talk to. Chopper, when he needed a steady hand to help him prepare medicine and other salves. And Robin often talked literature with him, having read a lot in his youth back in his days with Germa.

Usopp also talked with him, usually about some tall tales. Sanji usually indulged the sniper.

“Hey, mind if I talk with you?” The long nosed man asked.

“Sure. Make yourself at home.”

Usopp remained standing, looking a little uncomfortable by the kitchen table.

“I, uh, I wanted to thank you. For standing up for me when you did, when me and Luffy were having our spat. And again in Enies Lobby, too. Everything else too - all those times you saved me in the past. I never really told you how grateful I was to you, for doing all of that for me.”

“Hm? Don’t mention it. What moment in Enies Lobby? Pretty sure I said that to someone else…”

Sanji took a teasing tone in that last part. Just in case Luffy or Chopper were prowling around. He didn’t want to crush their dreams.

Usopp snorted, both of them knowing what the cook was referring to.

“Anyways, why did you do those things? I didn’t really think anyone would come to my defence against Luffy’s judgment for once - I was clearly in the wrong this time.”

Sanji stopped his dishwashing crusade, nearly dropping the current one he was scrubbing with a cloth. How was he going to answer this? Even if Usopp of all people would understand, he didn’t want to open that chapter in his life ever again. A non-answer?

No, he should be truthful. But then again… maybe a mix of the two.

Sanji was a coward, after all. He realized it now, since all he had ever been good at was running away. Maybe he was a good fighter and cook, but he always ran away from his problems. Too afraid to deal with them head-on. Just like a certain someone.

“I knew someone long ago, who may have had the right intentions, but went about them the wrong way. Indirectly hurting them, for being a bystander. She only changed at the very end. I guess watching her take those actions that she did… made me remember that I had the power to stand up for you. To help my nakama in need. That one of us understands that you’re a human too, dealing with crap like the rest of us. I kicked Luffy so that I wouldn’t make the same mistakes as her, just watching it happen while I had the power to at least try and stop him from saying toxic, hurtful things - especially since he didn’t realize it at the time.”

Sanji began to wonder though. It was true that most of his memories of Germa were negative, awful and hurtful. He also knew that the most hurtful memories are the ones that tended to be the most prominent in the mind. Now though, Sanji wondered. Just what had been going through his sister’s mind when she freed him?

She must’ve saw him as a charity case, maybe. Or pity, putting him out of his misery. Entertainment, perhaps?

But there was a small part of him that struggled to remember, what about her was different the last time they spoke…?

As the cook became lost in thought, Usopp looked confused, but thanked him again anyway. He exited the kitchen, heading back towards the bedrooms.

The sniper only had more questions though. How did Sanji read him like an open book, and know so much about him? Who the hell was this _her_? Sanji was an orphan, wasn’t he? Or maybe he wasn’t. He never talked about his past at mealtimes, he just dodged the question and asked Nami or Robin if they wanted something else. No one ever asked him if he had any siblings. And he was pretty sure he didn’t have any girlfriends, or even lost his virginity, otherwise he wouldn’t act so _thirsty_ around women otherwise…

* * *

“Oh! Thank you, Sanji-kun!”

Sanji was setting down the tea on her desk when one wink from her was enough for Sanji’s knees to buckle, doing his typical noodle dance as he spouted nonsense at her. It caused Nami to laugh while she worked on her maps. Probably at him, to be honest. But that was fine, he’d do anything to make her day a little bit brighter. Stopping his dance, he looked out of Nami’s window, spotting Robin laughing alongside Franky watching Brook and Luffy goof off together.

Brook, the skeleton. That was right. They just disembarked from Thriller Bark with a new member. The only member left that Laboon was waiting for, all the way back at the start of the Grand Line with Crocus. Sanji felt awful for both the poor whale and their new member - both waiting decades for something that seemed like would never happen, no hope for a future in sight, lonely as could be.

Was he projecting? Speaking of which, Sanji also had a run-in with the current invisibility devil fruit user on that old ship.

That took him back to his younger days. Reading about it in an encyclopedia. Praying that one day, he could find that fruit. Because maybe his reasons for wanting it now were lecherous in nature, but Sanji couldn’t just forget about the days of when he wanted to disappear from his family. From his family, and from the world, at times.

If only they could see him now. His brothers would have a laugh at that - the more things changed, the more things stayed the same. Even if he desired it now for less than obvious honourable reasons.

His weakness had always been women. It wasn’t something he could control - well, the chivalry aspect of it. Kalifa on Enies Lobby had only proved to him after all these years that he was unable to physically harm women. Even if he wanted to, even as he desperately tried to kick the CP9 agent, to attack her, to stop her, he couldn’t do it. Every single one of his attempts had failed, just millimetres from making contact with her. Sanji hated it. Yet again, he felt like a failure, unable to overcome something as simple as that. It must’ve been ingrained within his psyche - Zeff’s teachings on chivalry were enough to have pounded those points into him, since he always was unable to go against the first man to have showed him kindness.

No. That wasn’t completely it. Because maybe, the real reason why he hadn’t been able to hit women his entire life was because the only two people who had ever given a damn about him for the first eight years of his life belonged to the opposite gender. His mother… and his sister, he supposed.

Sanji was confused. His disdain for Reiju had been a controversial topic for him lately. A state of ambivalence was what he felt, when he thought of her.

On one hand, her powers wrapped up everything that was wrong with that cursed kingdom. Poisonous. Toxic. It was killing him slowly, being trapped in a cell with an iron helmet put on his head. He probably wouldn’t have even made it to this age, if he was stuck in there for any longer.

But on the other hand, that was exactly why he was increasingly finding it more difficult to justify his hatred. She was the one who ensured that fate wouldn’t fall upon him.

Funny. Wasn’t he supposed to hate her? She never cared about him, did she?

**_If I can... Run away... here in the East Blue... I'll never have to see... Otou-san's face again, right?_ **

No. That was just Sanji lying to himself, yet again. She was the one to have freed him from his cage, who allowed the bird with the broken wings try to and fly for the first time. And he fell flat. Multiple times. But he found a caretaker, a man who had let his wings heal so that he could fly freely for the first time. And now he had taken off with a flock, nothing but clear skies ahead. There must have been some semblance of _care_ when she did that, it just wouldn't have made sense otherwise.

He couldn’t deny it any longer - there were tears that Reiju shed in her farewell. He remembered it clearly now. And her last words…

“Sanji-kun?”

“Hm…?”

Sanji turned his attention back towards the orange-haired navigator, looking inquisitive. A little bit concerned as well - he’d hate to make her worry.

“You alright? You’ve been looking out of that window for the past minute now…”

“No need to worry, Nami-san! Just thinking about the next meal to cook!”

Sanji laughed a little too awkwardly, cringing a little. Even the cook had realized how suspicious he sounded with how loudly he blurted it out.

“Are you sure…?”

“Positive! I’ll take my leave now, call me if you need anything! You know I’d run over hot coals for you!” Sanji exclaimed.

“Okay Sanji-kun, if you say so…” She sighed.

He ran out the door, almost as if he had a tail tucked between his legs as he escaped back down to the kitchen, his safe space. He didn’t want to talk about that right now. The scars of his past… he didn’t want to reopen them to anyone. He wasn’t ready. Maybe, he’d never be. Running away from those problems hadn’t failed him yet. Why fix what isn't broken?

That was a lie. He was broken, and desperately needed fixing. But this wasn't something Franky and Usopp could just fix. His problems were rooted much more deeply than that...

But as he ran out of the door, Nami couldn’t help but wonder why their cook had looked so sad, staring out that window. He was always the most polarizing member of the crew, since he seemed to fall into these moods when he thought no one was looking. He looked like he was millions of miles away when he did, as miserable as can be. There was clearly something on his mind right now, although she noted over the months they had traveled together that he was an excessively private person, always on guard. It almost felt like he was hiding something. He was always one to listen to other people and their problems when he cooked, but never one to share his own.

Nami hoped that perhaps one day, he wouldn’t have to look so sad any longer. She knew from experience, after all.

* * *

They were catching up with each other a little bit more after they disembarked from Fishman Island.

Robin was currently telling the crew on the deck about the story of the burning of Ohara and Saul’s sacrifice. Sanji was walking around, giving everyone drinks and snacks. Except the Marimo - he was up in the lookout position, probably lifting weights with his pinky toes, or something.

The swordsman would come down for it eventually. Sanji left it underneath a removable plank, out of Luffy’s sight. Sanji once saw him climbing down the ladder shortly after the cook vacated the area, so it was the marimo who was eating it, probably. The food was always gone from the plate and the glass empty when he checked.

Never wanting to show weakness around him. Good old Marimo. Then again, Sanji supposed he acted the same way around him, and probably would’ve done the same thing too in his position. Birds of a feather, and whatnot. Not that he'd ever admit it to the swordsman.

He was currently tuning out Robin’s story, though. She alluded to parts of it over the conversations Sanji shared with Robin during the Straw Hats' adventures. Even if she clearly didn’t return his affections when he tried turning up the charm, she seemed to enjoy talking with the chef. Brook and Franky were the other two who also read, and the cook knew that the three of them were close as well.

But the reason why he wasn’t really paying attention was because Sanji didn’t want to hear her story. He knew from listening to her before, of course. Just how similar their pasts were. It reminded him too much, how she was once hated by members of her family. Her mother died too, leaving her alone. And above all, how Saul told her to run away and get as far from the burning island as possible.

He couldn't have anticipated what exactly Saul had said, though.

“…and he told me, _Somewhere out there in the sea, you’ll definitely meet your Nakama-”_

Sanji instantly dropped the tray he was holding with a few plates and glasses on it, shattering what was on top as the tray fell to the deck with a _clang_. His hands were shaking, after everyone turned to him. He felt uncomfortable under the gaze of the crew.

“Everyone else alright?” Sanji hastily blurted out, quickly pulling out a towel from one of his suit pockets he kept just in case, cleaning up the spill.

Franky helped him clean - the cyborg was using one of his inventions again. A vacuum-cleaner? Is that what he called it? Whatever the case, it sure was convenient.

“It may have hurt me, if I had skin! But I'm a skeleton! Yohohoho!” Brook laughed as the rest of the crew followed suit, relieving the atmosphere on the deck.

Sanji took the tray and mumbled, “I’ll be back soon…” before stalking off in the direction of the kitchen.

**_The sea is vast! You’ll definitely meet kind people someday!!!_ **

Who would’ve thought that Saul and Reiju had practically said the same thing, in similar scenarios? Not him.

As Sanji swung open the door to the kitchen, the only thing he had left on his mind was wondering if he had hated his sister for nothing all this time. He was starting to feel silly, blaming her for not doing things most children would’ve been afraid of. No one wanted a target on their back. No one wanted to persecuted. Especially not in a family like theirs. Time heals all wounds, apparently.

Sanji began to wonder now. What was she doing? Had she changed at all?

For some reason, Sanji didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer to that question.

All the while, Nico Robin was watching the blond cook’s facial expressions throughout the current sequence of events - noting just how extreme his reaction was to Saul’s final words. Robin always found the cook fascinating; there was much more than what met the eye with him. A pervert and ladies man on the surface, but there was clearly something he was ashamed of that was weighing the cook down. Sanji was notorious for being an impossible book to read, after all. Brook and Franky both agreed with her - it was impossible to get him to share anything about his past. And just like herself at one point, he wore a mask. Hiding his emotions from the world, refusing to let anyone in. But unlike herself, he hadn’t conquered his demons yet. If it was up to her, she’d have tried to force it out of him long ago, but it was really a decision that was up to him in the end. Only he could decide when to face his fears.

There was one thing Robin knew for certain. Their cook would have a fascinating death one day, that was for sure.

* * *

Whole Cake Island had been a mixed bag of experiences.

Twice he had watched the rubber boy refuse to give up on his crewmates in the past. First Nami, then Robin. Sanji anticipated Luffy would come back for him - it would be wrong if he didn’t. Although it would’ve been much easier for the cook if his captain just left him behind.

Which is why it hurt so much, kicking his captain. And not like in Water 7 - Sanji was trying to get Luffy to hate him, to fight back, to do _something_. But Luffy knew, of course. He knew exactly that refusing to fight back and telling him how he’d never eat again would hurt him the most. And Sanji knew he wasn’t bluffing. His captain was too honest, too awful at lying to just pretend that he would go on a hunger strike. Seeing right though him, knowing that Sanji wanted nothing more than to return to them.

But a good for nothing like him deserved to die alone. He didn’t deserve to be selfish. They had enough on their plate already, since Luffy presumably defeated Doflamingo on Dressrosa, and Kaido was the goal now. They didn’t need to piss off another yonko.

Maybe he was a sinner in his past life. Or his current one, and his luck had finally run dry. His past finally had caught up to him. All roads lead home, after all. The reunion with his family was inevitable. Sanji had just been trying to run away from it for as long as he could. And it was blowing up in his face at the worst possible time, much worse than he originally anticipated.

There was no other fitting end to a failure like him, coming full circle with his family. His father, who was still the piece of shit he used to be. His brothers that had grown up physically, when none of their subhuman tendencies had changed. Reiju, who hadn’t changed one bit from the two-faced snake who pretended to care about him. Why did he ever think his sister had ever cared for him? He couldn’t believe he even thought there had even been an ounce of _love_ in her farewell over the years. Maybe it would’ve been better off, not remembering that memory.

And of course, there was Sanji himself. Nothing had changed. He was still the same powerless kid from before, helpless to stop anything his family had been plotting. Unable to protect Zeff. Unable to protect his nakama. Unable to protect his own hands, the ones he swore he would never hurt as long as he remained a chef as they got outfitted with the explosive cuffs.

They should’ve left him here to die. This was his decision, his sacrifice. No one had the right to tell him otherwise. Because if Sanji, the disgraced prince, the _failure_ was to die, he would die on his own terms.

This was the end of the line… so he thought.

**_And that’s why… you’re kinder than anyone._ **

Everything changed with Reiju.

Her telling him the truth about their mother’s sacrifice. How there was no way he could ever be a failure, when he was the only success that Sora had wanted. A child who was still human. A child who wouldn’t just be an emotionless super solider, and was free to choose whatever path in life he desired.

She freed him from his cuffs, reminding him that he still had his nakama, who were still fighting to save him. She told him to run, just like he did all those years ago, and leave her to die at the hands of Big Mom.

Because a family like the Vinsmokes didn’t deserve to survive - in her eyes, it was only Sanji who did.

Sanji’s mind had been made up, after that.

The reunion with Luffy and the rest of his nakama had happened, unable to look at them in their faces after pushing them away the way he did. They welcomed him back, almost like he never left. Except Nami - justifiably so. She watched him brutalize Luffy, and made her think she was next, after all. He'd become her slave, if that was necessary.

Crashing the wedding and saving his sister - the only person he wanted to save at that trap. It felt good, pulling off another one of the notorious Straw Hat miracles.

Disowning Judge. Proving to him that mother was correct. That a _failure_ with emotions like him could be strong - stronger than any of them. That he _was_ a better man, who had every reason to abandon his family but chose to save them anyway.

It was cathartic. For the first time in his life, he truly felt free. No longer shackled to his burdens from his past, no need to hide anything anymore from his nakama. No point in being ashamed of his royal lineage when he finally cut all ties with them, on his terms. No longer viewing himself as a failure, anymore. And it was all thanks to his sister.

His only regret was that she was stuck with them. Reiju didn’t deserve such a fate, being bound to Judge. To be used as a weapon, waging war in the North Blue, unable to be free like he was.

And as Luffy finished up his fight with Katakuri and the rest of his siblings had showed up to cover their escape on Cacao Island, he was surprised by his brothers. For the first time in his life, Sanji felt like they respected him. Like they saw him as an equal and not as someone inferior.

They fucked him up for life, and he’d never forgive them for that. But somehow, their last remarks to him felt more like banter with the Marimo than verbal abuse. He almost pitied them now, being unable to feel empathy.

It would be a long time until he actually cared about his brothers. This was a step in the right direction though. Whether or not he wanted to continue along this path… he didn’t know.

More importantly, Sanji couldn’t help but feel that his sister really did care about him all this time, as she sent him off in the direction of the Sunny, where the rest of their crew was waiting.

The tears she had shed yet again that were lost in the wind only served as confirmation to him, as the two siblings set off in different directions. A parallel to the last time she pushed him away - this time, for a completely different reason.

Last time, it was for him to find his nakama. Now, it was for him to reunite with his nakama, no strings attached.

Sanji smiled as he flew through the night with his captain snoring away in his arms, and for the first time in a very long time, it was a genuine one.

* * *

It was after Wano now.

The Straw Hats had been cruising along after defeating Kaido, making their way towards the next island. The first time in a while they had some peace and quiet, finally.

They docked at a port in a trading island - where a familiar vessel was docked. A giant snail, with his sister in the air, watching their boat arrive. She was here for a pit stop, apparently. She noticed their ship on the horizon and decided to greet them.

Luffy already forgot who she was, of course. Classic Luffy.

Sanji invited her to dine with them, though. Reiju got along reasonably well with the rest of the crew, now that Germa wasn’t exactly an enemy of the Straw Hats. All of them were suspicious at first and looked at Sanji for confirmation - Nami, Chopper, Brook and Jinbe were all clearly concerned for him, obviously having watched the blond disown his family. The others were just as wary - even the Marimo, surprisingly enough. He appreciated the gesture, but it wasn’t needed.

He finally did tell them about his story, after the Onigashima Raid. None of them were surprised, all of them offering him hugs. Except the Marimo though - Sanji was glad. That would’ve been too weird, if he did. A grunt and the ghost of a smile while he sent a teasing remark his way was all he gave the cook. Probably his way of cheering him up, and he preferred it that way. Anyways, the hugs were nice. Especially Nami and Robin’s.

Sanji was a lot further along the path to healing now. He had his nakama - he couldn't believe he was scared about what they might've thought about him. Luffy seemed to attract lots of people with troubled histories.

But now, if memory served correctly, today was…

“Hey, guys. Can you show Reiju around the ship after you finish eating? You can bring her back here after, I want to make some food for tomorrow right now,” Sanji called out from the kitchen, pulling out a pan from a storage compartment underneath the oven.

The Straw Hats were in the middle of their meal alongside Reiju. She looked a little out of place at first, although Franky asked her a question about Germa technology and it was smooth sailing after that. The cyborg was already fascinated by Sanji’s Raid Suit and studied as often as he could, so talking with her would only give him more insight on how it worked. Sanji sure as hell didn’t know anything about Germa tech, nor did he care particularly - much to the cyborg and Usopp’s chagrin.

“Okay, Sanji! Can I get more meat? Shishishishi…” his captain laughed. He would’ve preferred Nami or Robin to do it, but at least she wouldn’t be bored with Luffy. Sanji chucked a bone of meat at Luffy, who effortlessly caught it. Reiju seemed a little off-guard at how chaotic mealtimes with the Straw Hats got.

Just over an hour later with everyone long since exiting the kitchen, everything was in place. Hopefully, he wasn’t misremembering. It’d be really embarrassing if he was mistaken. Or if she didn’t like it - how was he going to run damage control on this, if he was wrong?

Reiju walked in alone to see Sanji standing around nervously, with a cake on the table. Red Velvet with a touch of poison from pufferfish to it - he knew it was a delicacy to her, observing what she ate shortly after he had been kidnapped to Germa just a couple of weeks ago.

“Happy birthday, Reiju.”

She looked away, blinking back tears as she tried to avoid his gaze. She spoke softly.

“You… remembered my birthday?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Reiju wiped away the tears with her thumb as she took a seat. Always the gentleman, Sanji tucked in the chair for her.

“You always were too kind for your own good. Even to a monster like me, unable to protect her _otouto_ from all the abuse he received…”

“If I’m not a failure to you, then you could never be a monster to me.”

Reiju’s eyes widened as he cut a slice of cake before putting it on a plate for her, gesturing at her to eat.

Sanji was apprehensively waiting for Reiju to take a bite. Time felt like it was going by at the speed of flowing molasses. What if she didn’t like it? He typically trusted and was confident in his culinary skills, but this may have been the only time he had ever felt nervous when preparing something. Or watching someone eat. He didn’t think twice when making food for his nakama, but for his sister…

He was trembling, all right. Sanji wanted to impress her - he never felt this way, even towards the women of the ship when he was preparing food. He was just like a little kid right now, trying to grab his older sibling’s attention. He wanted validation.

Maybe he never really grew up from that 8 year old she had freed, all those years ago.

The only other time he was nervous while making food for someone was when he baked a cake for Zeff, ironically enough. Sanji ran away from the room a few years ago, not wanting to know what his reaction was to it. He still didn’t want to know, to be honest.

Of course, the blond didn’t realize it was the best cake the former pirate ever had.

Reiju took a bite. Her eyes lit up and Sanji felt a breath he had been holding in finally come out, sighing in relief.

“Do you like it? I didn’t know if I should’ve added that poison or not…”

“This is the best cake I’ve ever had! I can’t believe you knew I liked the taste of poison.”

Sanji was relieved, wiping away a bead of sweat from his forehead. Reiju frowned at that.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t have liked it?”

“…Yes. I had to make this in less than an hour.”

“Don’t think so lowly of yourself - that’s just a testament to your abilities. Besides, anything my _otouto_ cooked for me could never taste bad to me.” Reiju giggled at the end, riling up the blond.

“Don’t say that! I hate it when people aren’t honest about my cooking. It hurts my pride as a chef!” Sanji childishly whined.

“Okay, relax…”

The two of them talked for hours following that, moving onto other topics. Mostly about Sanji’s own adventures across the Grand Line and the New World. Not his tales of Ivankov and the Okama though - that was another can of worms he didn’t want to reopen. The last one, honestly. Luffy had barged in once, stealing the rest of the cake on the table before cheekily grinning at the siblings, then leaving the kitchen. Sanji didn’t bother following him - he expected the rubber boy to come in at some point to try his luck at breaking into the fridge. This was the one time he’d let it go.

Besides, he’d probably be up all night on the toilet, since the rubber boy’s body probably couldn’t breakdown poisons in his digestive system like his sister could. He had no doubt that he’d survive after what Chopper told him what Luffy had done while making their way to Totto Land to rescue him - there was only just enough poison in the cake for a harmless prank if a certain someone ingested it. And for him to not have to worry about the kitchen for one night.

Before long, it was late into the night, and was time for Sanji to get some sleep. Cooking for Luffy was already exhausting enough throughout the day; Sanji needed to get rest if he wanted to keep up with the glutton.

He stood up.

“Leaving so soon?” Reiju tilted her head to the side.

“Cooking for them is more exhausting than a full-time job. I’d love to talk more, but I also need to get some shut-eye.” Sanji commented, a little bit of affection seeping into his tone when he mentioned the word _them_.

Reiju seemed to have noticed.

“I’m glad, you know. Happy that you’ve finally found a family. That you’ve found the kind people I hoped you would back then.”

“I think I’ve always had a kind person by my side, back in those days. Even if she never realized it.”

She seemed shocked by that statement. Reiju looked like she didn’t know how to react to what he had just implied.

“I… thank you.”

Sanji knew for a while now that he never really hated his sister from the start. He hated the circumstances he had been put in. He hated Judge. His brothers were a byproduct of Judge. Her actions back then had hurt him, but he realized that it was a result of her own fears. She was only a couple of years older than him, of course she wasn’t brave enough to stop it. And he made his peace with that, now.

Because in the end, she had suffered as well over these years, perhaps even more than he did, being bound to the family she had always hated. Sanji was free to live the way he wanted and she wasn’t.

And for the first time in their lives, it really felt like they were older sister and younger brother. It put him at ease, talking with her - he began to wonder what it would’ve been like, if he, his sister, and their mother all grew up together in some alternate universe. If they would’ve been happy together, living a normal life instead of this one.

While this may not have been the life he wanted, it was the life he was given. He still had a duty to fulfill, and it wasn’t just to help fulfill his promise and see Luffy become the Pirate King. He was carrying on the will of Zeff and his mother, after all. He would find the All Blue. And now there was someone else he would find it for. His sister.

A smile had graced her features - the same smile she had given him when they parted ways on Cacao Island. Not at all like the sneers she used to give him when they were children. A completely sincere one, and a smile that reminded him of their mother.

A beautiful smile.

Sanji walked over to the exit as Reiju stood as well, following him and preparing to take her leave.

“Sweet dreams, Sanji.”

“Love you too, Reiju.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sanji's such a well written character, especially after looking back at how much his past was foreshadowed over the years. Props to Oda, I didn't particularly like Sanji that much (except for his fighting style lol) until WCI which really flipped the script for me and made him one of my favourite characters in One Piece.
> 
> This fic originally started as a 4 times Sanji remembered his sister, and the last time they met, although I ended up writing in a lot of his own reactions and interactions to some events in the story and I decided to turn this into more of an angsty character study. I also wrote the fic out of order, so some sections where the transition occurred may be more obvious than others, which was why I wasn't completely satisfied with it haha
> 
> Also, the last section was something I decided to add later, was originally going to end it at WCI.
> 
> 'Til we meet again in the next fic!


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